For the first time (and probably the last) it was created by an elf.

The priest says, “Go home, squeeze five lemons into a cup, and drink it really fast.”

The man asks, “Will that absolve me of all my sins?”

The priest says, “No. But it will wipe that smirk off your face.”

In court, the Eversweet Company’s hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus.

‘Didn’t you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’asked the solicitor.
Angus responded: ‘Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I’d just loaded my fav’rit cow, Bessie, into da… ‘

‘I didn’t ask for any details’, the solicitor interrupted. ‘Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!?’

Angus said, ‘Well, I’d just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin’ down da road…. ‘

The solicitor interrupted again and said,’Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. ‘

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus’ answer and said to the solicitor: ‘I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie’.

Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded. ‘Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘How are you feelin’?’