Funny Pick-Up Lines

I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet

Don't be so picky... I wasn't!

Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.

Let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.

This time next year let’s be laughing together.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? [No, why?] 'Cause I can see me in your pants.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Do you have a band-aid? [Why?] I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Are those astronaunt pants? Cause that ass is out of this world!

Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!

I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!

You know what would look great on you? Me.

You turn my software into hardware!

I hope you don't know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.

You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.

I sneezed because God blessed me with you.

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Got any raisins? [No.] Then how about a date?

You must be Jamaican, cause you Jamaican me crazy.

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Joseppi?

I lost my virginity... can I have yours?

Fat penguin. [What?] I just wanted to say something to break the ice.

I'm not feeling myself today, can I feel you?

Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?

Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

Want to get some air? You took my breath away!

Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

You know what would look great on you? Me

Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!

Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!